How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
