I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize