he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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