I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize