How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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