Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize