This girl is more easily done than said...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
