it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
