I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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