I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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