YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
