FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Terrible idea I love it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
