Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there's paper in my vomit.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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