I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
