did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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