I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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