I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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