Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
