oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
