Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
