Your face is a jimmy john
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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