Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
