Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
