took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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