I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
