I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
