Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
