Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
