hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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