Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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