dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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