I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
