i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I came so hard my ears popped.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
