Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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