I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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