i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize