We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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