so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
