It's Friday. Sex?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
