I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Semen is not good for contacts.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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