well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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