I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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