hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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