If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
