I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
