Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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