Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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