look no pants
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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