so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
