suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize