You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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