the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
