Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
