i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Randomize
