Your mouth is God's brothel.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
