My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
