I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
